if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.
he would be ur fed ex
I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that
I saw someone fly backwards off a treadmill today and I was laughing so hard I fell off the crosstrainer which made the girl next to me laugh so hard that she slipped off hers and it was 7:30 in the morning and there were just 3 of us sitting on the floor of the gym crying with laughter and in varying degrees of pain
I’m afraid I’m easy to forget.
if you wont kiss your partner after you cum in their mouth you are truly weak and natural selection is coming for you
DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY
THE CUTEST THING IS WHEN SOMEONE CAN’T STOP SMILING LIKE THEY SMILE THEN THEY TRY TO NOT SMILE THEN THEY END UP SMILING MORE AND THEIR CHEEKS GO ALL CUTE AND SAPOIDSP[DOSADPSAPSDSAPDSAP
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
Sometimes I drink too much vodka or eat 3 servings of macaroni and cheese in one sitting, but by far the most unhealthy habit I have is comparing myself to others.
Sunset from above the clouds.
HAPPY EARTH DAY ♥♥♥
The floor is lava. [vid]
This is one of the best gifs
omfg I’ve only ever seen the end part of this gif this is amazing
i want this marriage
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